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I was only 19 years old... - Ovidiu Barsan
![I was only 19 years old... - Ovidiu Barsan [1]](https://gomagcdn.ro/domains/editurauniversitara.ro/files/product/original/avem-doar-19-ani-603918.jpg "I was only 19 years old... - Ovidiu Barsan [1]")
Publisher: Cismigiu Books
Author: Ovidiu Barsan
Edition: I
Pages: 140
Publisher year: 2023
ISBN: 978-606-28-1663-6
DOI: 10.5682/9786062816636
Product Code:
9786062816636
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December '89... An expected but unexpected December, a remarkable December that came out of nowhere and that led us to where we are today. A December reviled by some and, unfortunately, forgotten by far too many.
For the 19-year-old boy, a soldier in an army that had come to use the shovel more than the gun, December '89 was supposed to mean the end of a dark period in his life, but it ended up representing the most important life lesson.
These lines do not want to unravel the puzzle of that December, they just want to remember that time when I dreamed of beautiful things and believed.
For the 19-year-old boy, a soldier in an army that had come to use the shovel more than the gun, December '89 was supposed to mean the end of a dark period in his life, but it ended up representing the most important life lesson.
These lines do not want to unravel the puzzle of that December, they just want to remember that time when I dreamed of beautiful things and believed.
-
I was only 19 years old...
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OVIDIU BARSAN
FORGETTING CORRUPTS HISTORY
or existential truth is what is not seen
Peter ISACHI
It seems natural to me as an author of historical novels - Kara Golge, 2021; Renegade Journal (Jurnalul Renegatilor), 2022 - to see in the phenomenon of forgetting, a "huge monster of ingratitude" (W. Shakespeare), which inevitably leads to the corruption of History (= the memory of generations), so as to propose, as a moral duty, of the soul, the (re)configuration from memory (= the talent of the erudites), of a fragment, apparently random and insignificant, of the anti-communist revolution, lived "live", with wonder, caution and enthusiasm, as a soldier attached to the Military Academy, Bucharest, during: December 17, 1989 – January 1, 1990. Authentic and implicit in the writing of the memoiristic novel, I was only 19 years old..., is above all the indignation, the inner revolt of the writer who finds, unfortunately, only after a few decades, that the sacrificial acts of the participants at events - students, soldiers, officers, civilians, workers, intellectuals, etc. - they are not invalidated, mitigated by trivialization and condemned to oblivion, although what is condemned to oblivion is sure to survive...
Ovidiu Barsan convinced - at the age/date when he lived through the events - like Saint Augustine that "Truth is what is seen", recalls the optimistic, almost sacred beginning of the Revolution from the perspective of the young soldier living in a "paradise of sleepwalkers", but almost totally ignorant (what did he know, at the age of 19, from behind the scenes of the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, etc.?) regarding the doctrine and political philosophy of such a social-historical phenomenon, in which, with priority, only the techniques and the art of manipulations matter insurrections, in the invisible "war", national and international, for power. In this excusable innocence, it probably finds its roots, the idyllic vision, the playful enthusiasm, the trust and the utopian hope in a rapid change in the face of post-December Romania. The days of the revolution are for the Moldovan - acting character/witness/reflector, narrator and alter-ego of the author - a real school/university of political science, where they are "taught" through deeds, but also through spontaneous actions, language, behavior, signs And so on by the Colonel, the Mysterious Civilian, the Little Colonel, the Captain, the Gunner, the Border Guard, the Infantryman, the Telephone Operator, the Driver, the Major Woman, the Piano Teacher and her brother, Father and Mother, etc. , acting characters-symbols, characters-ideas, so many states of mind, morals, camaraderie, friendship, but also what it means in essence, the state of national alarm, duplication, fear, cowardice, courage, unpredictable death, political assassination, the unconditional sacrifice, the imminent danger not only for each individual, but also for the whole of Romania threatened from the shadows with territorial disintegration.
The book is an admirable ode dedicated to the Romanian Army/the Romanian soldier and implicitly, to the youth, to the people suddenly awakened from existential somnambulism, but especially penetrated by the Hegelian idea that in such moments of limitation, you can only preserve your freedom at the risk of your life. There are moments when you discover, paradoxically, as Petre Tutea said somewhere, that "revolution is an advance on the spot" - the main character advances "on the spot", even in the apparently secure space of the Military Academy, which is being defended by the counter-revolutionaries as if from serene -, a revolution which, as the same Socrates of the Romans suggested, does not add anything new to Plato's ideas, and a possible reset/restructuring of contemporary man, according to new moral, existential canons, has only happened once in history recently, at the divine-mysterious appearance of Christ. The vacuum of power, natural in such radically conflicting states, potentiates in geometric progression, chaos, the state of expectation, restlessness, unpredictability, illusion and existential anguish.
The author does not involve the Church/providence in the development of the Revolution that began, as is known, almost simultaneously in Timisoara, Iasi, Sibiu, etc. Escaped as if through the eye of a needle, by a stray cartridge - well included in the text, the motif of Achilles' Heel - the main character, but also the entire World seen and unseen, of the characters of this infrarealist, self-referential novel, docufiction for the future, finds, apparently paradoxically, that not the people (institutions, universities, schools, police, army, aviation, political parties, mayors, etc.) lead the revolution, but the revolution is used by the people who have become actors in a tragi-comedy, in a heroic-comic "show", seen live by the entire population of the globe, on Romanian Television and coordinated from the shadows, by a Director, apparently providential, omniscient, ubiquitous and omnipotent, who establishes with political precision, the roles, costumes and masks necessary for the unfolding of the action. The almost unanimous will/desire of the Romanian people to free themselves from the dictatorship of Bolshevism/communism admits, even admires the irreproachable art of manipulation.
Although Mircea Eliade believes that few nations can be proud to have had as much "misfortune in history" as the Romanian nation, I personally believe that as far as the Events of December 1989 are concerned, both the main character, the Moldavian, and post-communist Romania, integrated into the Union Europe and the defensive military bloc N.A.T.O. had a divine "luck". Like any multi-millenarian race - conservative, regressive and defensive - autochthonous and Balkan prejudices cannot be easily destroyed and replaced by other prejudices, except in time; it is, of course, about their metaphysical substrate. Ovidiu Barsan suggests to us in the naturally optimistic writing of the self-referential novel I was only 19 years old... an ontological reality that must be taken into account: a people can only be truly conquered through the systematic destruction of elites, universities, schools, institutions, doctrines, national philosophies etc. The promotion of meritocracy is one of the lessons suggested by the group of soldiers who defended the Military Academy and the Ministry of National Defense. Very important was, is and will be: the leader, the head of the group, the community, the state.
Here are the main attributions/unwritten laws of such a leader, in the vision of the philosopher Confucius (551 - 479 BC), and to see how important the idea of continuity and value hierarchy is in the history of humanity, not only of contemporary Romania:
"1. To self-improve; 2. To venerate the wise; 3. To love their parents; 4. To honor the high state officials; 5. To behave well with the people; 6. To attract scientists and artists to his side; 7. To behave in a friendly manner with all the great vassals. "
Confucianism proposes, therefore, the cultivation of a moral, natural order, in which each individual is obliged to assume the moral obligations inherent in his function, position, as son, father, subject, leader. Implicitly and unostentatiously didactic, the group of soldiers who acted at the Military Academy proposes to the reader the moral qualities of the true "revolutionary"/man necessary for the present/future: the sense of duty to the nation, loyalty, reciprocity, kindness, good faith, friendship, affection filial and fraternal, family spirit specific to Romanians, synchronization with the good and the beautiful, etc. The merit of the writer is indisputable in the conditions in which these attributes fade to the point of disappearance.
Goetheian is transfigured in this "imperfect work" (in the sense assigned by Nichita Stanescu) dedicated to the Romanian Revolution, the concept of freedom: Only that deserves the freedom and life that must be conquered every day. Most of us forget this axiom: the idea that national identity, culture, religion and freedom must be recaptured every day. Especially in the conditions when freedom does not imply rights - because the rights are given to you by others and they do not commit you - but rather responsibilities: with priority, freedom, the will to defeat yourself every second. We see in this vision from the novel I was only 19 years old..., the Hegelian opinion, which Ovidiu Barsan transfigures, and in his other novels: History is the realization of the idea of freedom seen as a process absolutely necessary for survival.
I conclude, you will read an "imperfect work", a "Romanian textbook" lived in exceptional conditions, a charming writing through sincerity, altruism, empathy, wisdom, understanding for the historical situation, philosophically elegiac - sic transit gloria mundi -, concessive, melancholic, interrogative, enthusiastic, poetic-reflexive, deep in incompleteness, substantial convergence, unostentatious ethics, partially mysterious, with unimaginable effects for the future, etc.
Of course, if you want to read a "perfect" book in the revolution, you have only one solution: write it yourself. The critic would be delighted to read it. As for criticism - it was also Cioran's opinion - it remains a beautiful and necessary absurdity... I confess: I read the novelist Ovidiu Barsan, not to understand him, but to understand myself. I won't tell you if I understood! I will tell you, however, that a critic should never speak/write about a writer whose merits are obvious. Anyway, the self-referential novel, I was only 19 years old... presents itself, whenever and wherever, if it has anyone!..
August 6, 2023, Bacau
Peter ISACHI
or existential truth is what is not seen
Peter ISACHI
It seems natural to me as an author of historical novels - Kara Golge, 2021; Renegade Journal (Jurnalul Renegatilor), 2022 - to see in the phenomenon of forgetting, a "huge monster of ingratitude" (W. Shakespeare), which inevitably leads to the corruption of History (= the memory of generations), so as to propose, as a moral duty, of the soul, the (re)configuration from memory (= the talent of the erudites), of a fragment, apparently random and insignificant, of the anti-communist revolution, lived "live", with wonder, caution and enthusiasm, as a soldier attached to the Military Academy, Bucharest, during: December 17, 1989 – January 1, 1990. Authentic and implicit in the writing of the memoiristic novel, I was only 19 years old..., is above all the indignation, the inner revolt of the writer who finds, unfortunately, only after a few decades, that the sacrificial acts of the participants at events - students, soldiers, officers, civilians, workers, intellectuals, etc. - they are not invalidated, mitigated by trivialization and condemned to oblivion, although what is condemned to oblivion is sure to survive...
Ovidiu Barsan convinced - at the age/date when he lived through the events - like Saint Augustine that "Truth is what is seen", recalls the optimistic, almost sacred beginning of the Revolution from the perspective of the young soldier living in a "paradise of sleepwalkers", but almost totally ignorant (what did he know, at the age of 19, from behind the scenes of the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, etc.?) regarding the doctrine and political philosophy of such a social-historical phenomenon, in which, with priority, only the techniques and the art of manipulations matter insurrections, in the invisible "war", national and international, for power. In this excusable innocence, it probably finds its roots, the idyllic vision, the playful enthusiasm, the trust and the utopian hope in a rapid change in the face of post-December Romania. The days of the revolution are for the Moldovan - acting character/witness/reflector, narrator and alter-ego of the author - a real school/university of political science, where they are "taught" through deeds, but also through spontaneous actions, language, behavior, signs And so on by the Colonel, the Mysterious Civilian, the Little Colonel, the Captain, the Gunner, the Border Guard, the Infantryman, the Telephone Operator, the Driver, the Major Woman, the Piano Teacher and her brother, Father and Mother, etc. , acting characters-symbols, characters-ideas, so many states of mind, morals, camaraderie, friendship, but also what it means in essence, the state of national alarm, duplication, fear, cowardice, courage, unpredictable death, political assassination, the unconditional sacrifice, the imminent danger not only for each individual, but also for the whole of Romania threatened from the shadows with territorial disintegration.
The book is an admirable ode dedicated to the Romanian Army/the Romanian soldier and implicitly, to the youth, to the people suddenly awakened from existential somnambulism, but especially penetrated by the Hegelian idea that in such moments of limitation, you can only preserve your freedom at the risk of your life. There are moments when you discover, paradoxically, as Petre Tutea said somewhere, that "revolution is an advance on the spot" - the main character advances "on the spot", even in the apparently secure space of the Military Academy, which is being defended by the counter-revolutionaries as if from serene -, a revolution which, as the same Socrates of the Romans suggested, does not add anything new to Plato's ideas, and a possible reset/restructuring of contemporary man, according to new moral, existential canons, has only happened once in history recently, at the divine-mysterious appearance of Christ. The vacuum of power, natural in such radically conflicting states, potentiates in geometric progression, chaos, the state of expectation, restlessness, unpredictability, illusion and existential anguish.
The author does not involve the Church/providence in the development of the Revolution that began, as is known, almost simultaneously in Timisoara, Iasi, Sibiu, etc. Escaped as if through the eye of a needle, by a stray cartridge - well included in the text, the motif of Achilles' Heel - the main character, but also the entire World seen and unseen, of the characters of this infrarealist, self-referential novel, docufiction for the future, finds, apparently paradoxically, that not the people (institutions, universities, schools, police, army, aviation, political parties, mayors, etc.) lead the revolution, but the revolution is used by the people who have become actors in a tragi-comedy, in a heroic-comic "show", seen live by the entire population of the globe, on Romanian Television and coordinated from the shadows, by a Director, apparently providential, omniscient, ubiquitous and omnipotent, who establishes with political precision, the roles, costumes and masks necessary for the unfolding of the action. The almost unanimous will/desire of the Romanian people to free themselves from the dictatorship of Bolshevism/communism admits, even admires the irreproachable art of manipulation.
Although Mircea Eliade believes that few nations can be proud to have had as much "misfortune in history" as the Romanian nation, I personally believe that as far as the Events of December 1989 are concerned, both the main character, the Moldavian, and post-communist Romania, integrated into the Union Europe and the defensive military bloc N.A.T.O. had a divine "luck". Like any multi-millenarian race - conservative, regressive and defensive - autochthonous and Balkan prejudices cannot be easily destroyed and replaced by other prejudices, except in time; it is, of course, about their metaphysical substrate. Ovidiu Barsan suggests to us in the naturally optimistic writing of the self-referential novel I was only 19 years old... an ontological reality that must be taken into account: a people can only be truly conquered through the systematic destruction of elites, universities, schools, institutions, doctrines, national philosophies etc. The promotion of meritocracy is one of the lessons suggested by the group of soldiers who defended the Military Academy and the Ministry of National Defense. Very important was, is and will be: the leader, the head of the group, the community, the state.
Here are the main attributions/unwritten laws of such a leader, in the vision of the philosopher Confucius (551 - 479 BC), and to see how important the idea of continuity and value hierarchy is in the history of humanity, not only of contemporary Romania:
"1. To self-improve; 2. To venerate the wise; 3. To love their parents; 4. To honor the high state officials; 5. To behave well with the people; 6. To attract scientists and artists to his side; 7. To behave in a friendly manner with all the great vassals. "
Confucianism proposes, therefore, the cultivation of a moral, natural order, in which each individual is obliged to assume the moral obligations inherent in his function, position, as son, father, subject, leader. Implicitly and unostentatiously didactic, the group of soldiers who acted at the Military Academy proposes to the reader the moral qualities of the true "revolutionary"/man necessary for the present/future: the sense of duty to the nation, loyalty, reciprocity, kindness, good faith, friendship, affection filial and fraternal, family spirit specific to Romanians, synchronization with the good and the beautiful, etc. The merit of the writer is indisputable in the conditions in which these attributes fade to the point of disappearance.
Goetheian is transfigured in this "imperfect work" (in the sense assigned by Nichita Stanescu) dedicated to the Romanian Revolution, the concept of freedom: Only that deserves the freedom and life that must be conquered every day. Most of us forget this axiom: the idea that national identity, culture, religion and freedom must be recaptured every day. Especially in the conditions when freedom does not imply rights - because the rights are given to you by others and they do not commit you - but rather responsibilities: with priority, freedom, the will to defeat yourself every second. We see in this vision from the novel I was only 19 years old..., the Hegelian opinion, which Ovidiu Barsan transfigures, and in his other novels: History is the realization of the idea of freedom seen as a process absolutely necessary for survival.
I conclude, you will read an "imperfect work", a "Romanian textbook" lived in exceptional conditions, a charming writing through sincerity, altruism, empathy, wisdom, understanding for the historical situation, philosophically elegiac - sic transit gloria mundi -, concessive, melancholic, interrogative, enthusiastic, poetic-reflexive, deep in incompleteness, substantial convergence, unostentatious ethics, partially mysterious, with unimaginable effects for the future, etc.
Of course, if you want to read a "perfect" book in the revolution, you have only one solution: write it yourself. The critic would be delighted to read it. As for criticism - it was also Cioran's opinion - it remains a beautiful and necessary absurdity... I confess: I read the novelist Ovidiu Barsan, not to understand him, but to understand myself. I won't tell you if I understood! I will tell you, however, that a critic should never speak/write about a writer whose merits are obvious. Anyway, the self-referential novel, I was only 19 years old... presents itself, whenever and wherever, if it has anyone!..
August 6, 2023, Bacau
Peter ISACHI
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